A Millon Things (Pt. 1)
Hello all.
I had initially titled this bit "A thousand things"...but after the brief but inspiring walk from downtown to here, I decided a thousand wasn't nearly enough.
Red X's on a doomed tree, beautifully flat toasters, girls singing the latest pop hit from the cab of a mid-90's Dodge truck, leaves crunching underfoot, and distant random yelps from house parties echoed through my head on the way back home. Endless swirls of frenzied thoughts cycled through my drunken cranium. I can only hope to remember half of them.
Tonight, my lovely and beautiful fiancee is out of town for a roller derby bout, for which she is a referee. Whenever she is away, I remember why I started my DrunkAgain blog...
I remember a few years back when I was terminally single. Shortly before I met my lady, I was just about done with women altogether, content with the ongoing but altogether unsatisfying relationship between me and internet porn (I'm still a fan.) Towards the end of my singleness, I regarded pretty much any social interaction with the opposite sex to be none other than a social experiment. I would get rip-roaring drunk, go to a bar and get more drunk, and say or do outlandish things just to note the reaction of the befuddled female at hand. If, on the rare occasion said female wasn't completely offended or annoyed...then she might be the one for me, right? In essence, I guess, I was just being an exaggerated version of myself. Most of the time, I'd get home comfortably alone with a head full of swirling thoughts, and to my trusty computer waiting for me.
If anything, the "experiment" proved that females, on average, were attracted to assholes. (Does this surprise anyone? Huh?) Furthermore, My fiancee was actually lured in by my asshole-ness, through a once-popular online social site. (She is free to dispute that fact.)

(Pt. II here)